Possessed, Obsessed and lost – Execellence- Intelligence – Power- Fame

I love visual information ( photos, videos, paintings, and scenes that i see with my eyes ) than textual information. I love to travel may be because of this. When not traveling, I inadvertently end up spending a lot of my time seeing movies ( of all sorts), documentaries, TV series, interviews. I love to indulge my visual and auditory senses.  I spend a whole days doing that and wonder  “Why, why did I WASTE my time like this?” I think I am on this effort to understand and explaining to myself all things I do, feel and feel specifically guilty about since the past few months (The guilty part was supposed to be a joke!).  My engagement with these media is with a lot of  enthusiasm and involvement. it is more like sitting through a lecture of my favourite subject.

I keep asking this question to myself quite often but never answered it.  Ran away from it  saying to myself, “From now on I wont waste time”.But I again get back to doing the same thing after a couple of months. Running away and controlling my tendencies is clearly not working.  With today’s omnipresent access to internet through phones, computers and tabs… how to escape inflow of information and the temptation?

This is my theory on why I indulge in watching and listening so much more than what I consider just enough? Before I go on to whys, let me look at what media do I consume?:

Videos: interviews of the powerful/famous/ intelligent ( not enough content on this front from indian media ) , performances in artforms music/dance/ concerts, movies from any genre except the boy movies ( with a lot of fights/guns/ machines/ robots) and documentaries – mostly the ones on travel and on lives of others in different lands.

Audio: Indian movie music, Carnatic music, Classical english music.

And now looking at the whys:

What ever I do with these two mediums the initial reason is always is inspiration and a quest to understand how excellence is achieved. But once one video clip is seen of an inspiration, I go on this inspiration binge which turns into a information gathering binge which again turns into a gossip binge and finally lost! This we call it in the friend circle as ‘drifting’. And to a great extent, it seems to be the curse of this internet generation.

The drifting had a pattern I have mentioned above because of a particular kind of reasoning that existed in my head. I believe what ever work I do I must work towards excelling in it. Another belief is :”Born a human being with a mind of discretionary ability, its necessary that I evolve into  an intelligent  being”. This process of evolving into an intelligent being is also possible with focused work which is a mostly the practice with people who excel in their fields. And those people usually become famous and/or powerful too.

In a way my video binges is an attempt to know how these people excel, what are those qualities that help one grow and get better at their areas. This reason looks decent enough to not feel guilty. But why does guilt pervade many times in my head? The answer to this question is, my time spent on famous/powerful but not so intelligent people. In my head somewhere unconsciously, I had made this rule that:

If you are famous, then you MUST be intelligent /excellent in your field.

How moronic? Seriously how moronic. And it took me all these years to figure out this flawed rule in my head. In reality the rule is:

If you are intelligent/ excellent in your field you could be famous/ powerful.

This image says it right, I should have known this earlier than now.



The proxies that my mind create are quite intriguing. Famous = Intelligent/ Excellent. Wow! Neither this is true, nor the other way around is true. I feel quite absolved, having figured out this flawed rule. Hoping to spend my time on useful things and not the useless crap from here on!